Ihadn’t attended a funeral in years. They’ve never been my favorite ceremony and whenever possible, I made excuses to avoid them, preferring to bid final farewell in private.

But when Jeanetta’s aunt, Modean (Deanie) Reed, passed away in Harrison at age 89 and her funeral was held a few days later, I felt moved to share my farewell to such a kindly, Godly woman by prayerfully wishing her Godspeed and expressing that hopefully we will meet again in the promised place.

The ceremony was conducted by Modean’s son Rev. Eddie Reed, pastor of the Capps Full Gospel Church just outside Harrison, alongside his son William.

More than 100 were in the sanctuary to honor Deanie’s long life that had touched many others over the decades through her lifelong quest to share gifts from her beloved scriptures.

The service went like we’ve all to come expect at such tributes to life: An introduction by her grandson William, gospel music (her favorite) and the heartfelt farewell eulogy by Pastor Eddie.

It was his simple message, derived from an expression his devout mother had used when something in her life became a memory, that resonated deeply in me.

“That’s behind me now,” was the essence of her thought, meaning she chose to continue looking forward rather than backward during the remainder of her life.

That previous experiences have forever passed, Pastor Eddie told the congregation, but time remains to create new ones today and tomorrow, which also were destined to become tomorrow’s memories. “So whatever it is, put it behind you and look at what lies ahead.”

Staring into the attentive crowd, he used the example of the day his mother told him she formerly hosted large, joyous Christmas dinners where the family celebrated together. But that’s all behind me, she told him matter of factly.

And now, much like Deanie’s philosophy, everyone will face things that soon will be behind us. So the time to make things happen is today and tomorrow without irrelevant thoughts as to what once was.

It reminded me of this quote from Matshona Dhliwayo: “The past is kind enough to give you lessons. The present is kind enough to give you opportunities. The future is kind enough to give you both.”

The eulogy provided ample food for thought. Yet it’s a truism often ignored until at some unexpected point over the years it can become too late to change. That’s understandable, I suppose, since few today are concerned with contemplating the inescapable ramifications of their unpredictable mortality.

At the pulpit, pastor Eddie was emphasizing his mother’s lifelong spiritual dedication and the divinely promised results of her servitude. And while I believe the intention to look forward applies to each of us, looking forward rather than into our past choices also is the wisest way to spend our remaining lives with one another.

The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard put it another way: “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”

HAD A GODNOD?

Those valued readers who follow this block of words three times weekly know well my interest in the unexplained serendipitous events I call GodNods because most contain unmistakable supernatural undertones that stretch into divine involvement.

Thus far I have written about everything from a rural gas station at night that appeared just in time to save a traveling Fayetteville family, yet disappeared upon their return; a woman asking God for some financial approval as she walked at a time of decision, then finding a shiny quarter in the middle of the street 10 steps ahead; a man sliding perilously down a steep slope only to be saved from a fatal drop by a single bush growing in precisely the right spot for him to grab; to a disembodied voice loudly warning a woman at a green light to stop as a speeding dump truck ran the light.

I haven’t received readers’ GodNods lately and I’m always ready to share more if you’ll take a few minutes and send yours to my email address.

WHAT ABOUT HONOR?

The quality of our individual spirit and personality we recognize as “honor” is often described as a fine sense of and strict conformity to what is considered respectful. due and morally right.

While it sounds important and noble, how many of us give much thought to how much honor we have or reflect by our existence? Sadly, not nearly as many as society six decades or so back.

The quality of an honorable spirit denotes the presence of integrity, particularly the absence of deceit or fraud, especially in business and personal dealings. In other words, a person’s uncompromising honesty and trustworthiness.

As far back as history’s great philosophers, one’s individual honor has been a hallowed aspect of the human spirit. Socrates said the best way to achieve honor is to be what you pretend to be. Simple enough, yet a definite challenge for so many naturally self-interested humans lacking the will to overcome that detriment to an insecure personality.

Aristotle asserted that people will not achieve anything in the world without courage, which he believed is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.

Our nation’s highest military recognition is not the Medal of Bravery or Courage but the Medal of Honor, celebrating doing the right, courageous and difficult thing in the face of daunting adversity. We refer to our judges and elected officials as “The Honorable” based strictly on the office they hold. Truth is, they have yet to earn or prove they deserve the title. It turns out in too many instances they have chosen selfishness and greed over honor.

So when and why did we begin steadily losing respect for such an important quality in our lives and relationships?

Why did so many go from a person’s honor and reputation being at stake over a handshake to winning by any means possible being the new goal? When did lies become acceptable, as long as they gave a political candidate and their party advantage and allowed them to falsely call their lies “misspeaks”? Wait, does that make two lies?

At some point, parents had to have shown their children that maintaining their honor was an important goal over their lifetime. I and my siblings certainly had that message implanted in us daily by our late father Rue, the Army colonel. Of course, a strong sense of respect and honor in the military had been drilled into him.

Yet how many parents in 2024 place any priority on instilling honor and respect in the hearts and minds of their children? I didn’t do nearly as much as my father did, although my son thankfully developed a sense of honor and my daughter spent a 20-year career in the Navy.

Philosopher Sophocles is said to have put it this way: “I’d rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”